Explosive Easter Egg Hunt
by Jai Ci
Summary: I had too much time today and gathered random quotes from people and threw them into a crazy random story. This is the unfortunate result with a story that doesn't really even follow the title. Oh well, here it is a poor shot at humor! Enjoy...or don't. :


Explosive Easter Egg Hunt

Jossy: Hello there! I was bored and collected a bunch of weird quotes from all the people I love. Well not all the people I love, Sephiroth didn't give me one for example but oh well. I have all of his quotes from the game anyway!

Duh-chan: She does and it's frightening! *nods* Okay so me, her brother, and her parents gave her some random quotes to use for this story.

Ki: So then she typed a story in order of the quotes and got this. Scary, nyo. But then again, anything she types is scary.

Jossy: ~_~ Not as scary as Alucard!

Ki: He's not scary, he's pretty! :p

Jossy: Anyway, here it is, my pathetic shot at humor! Warning, OOC-ness lies within.

~~~~

Cait Sith: Yo mamma!

Sephiroth: What?! *draws out Masamune*

Cait Sith: The egg exploded...*points at nonexistent egg*

Sephiroth: *narrows eyes* You'll survive this one cat. If you say it again, you're dead.

Scarlet: *walks by*

Sephiroth: *points at Scarlet* Ha ha! You're fat! 

Scarlet: You're fat!

Sephiroth: ....I'm sure you mean 'phat'. Because I am.

Aeris: Not as 'phat' as Cloud is. *finds an egg and it explodes* Man...

Tifa: Teh Cloud Strife is hot! *pokes through a bush*

Sephiroth: Oh, that's right the failure. *walks off somewhere*

Cloud: *walks over* Does anyone know why the eggs keep exploding?

Red XIII: It might have something to do with the title.

Tifa: Title?

Red XIII: Yes, of the story.

Cloud: Oh, heh, I knew that!

Red XIII: Yes, I'm sure you did.

Yuffie: Ooooooh!

Vincent: What?

Yuffie: Bowflex!

Barret: What's so great about a $#@%! bowflex?

Yuffie: Ansem uses it!

Barret: Who?

Yuffie: Oh that's right you weren't in Kingdom Hearts!

Barret: Rub it in why don't you?

Yuffie: It's because you're black. I feel you dawg.

Barret: ?????

Yuffie: Ansem almost didn't get the part because he was dark.

Tifa: Why couldn't I be in Kingdom Hearts?

Cloud: *eyes Tifa's chest* Um, I don't know.

Cait Sith: Why was Cid in it?

Cid: I don't know. Those weren't even my #%@! original lines! When that %@*!# punk Sora walked into my *#!@^ I told him to get the %@!(% out! I was in the middle of my %$@(! tea! But noooo, some #$@(^ changed my lines!

Cloud: *leans over to Tifa* That explains the assassination plans I found on the Highwind.

Tifa: Oh.

Vincent: You know what else I didn't understand? *looks at Cloud* How you ended up with my cape and arm. I'd like an explanation.

Cloud: Um, uh, heh, well um...you know I think you should talk to the producer about that. But yeah, what was up with Squall's name? _Leon_? Heh, yeah what's up with that?

Yuffie: He has nice abs! *sets off five explosive eggs*

Aeris: How do you know what his abs look like?

Yuffie: *ignores Aeris* They're so nice and chiseled.

Red XIII: *digs and another egg goes boom* I really don't want to know how Yuffie knows that.

Rude: *falls onto of Cait Sith*

Elena: Rude! *runs over* I told you not to try to take those golden eggs to headquarters!

Reno: *sits back and laughs*

Cloud: What are you guys doing here?

Reno: Why do you guys always ask us that in these types of stories?

Elena: Well since you really wanna know...You see me, Reno, and Rude were just sitting there at the bar in Junon. Reno got us kicked out because he was hitting on the bartender that looked like a girl but was actually a guy who was actually a girl. So we were sitting outside of the bar wondering what to do. A kitty walked by and I went to pet it. So I pet the cute furry kitty and then Reno said we had to back to work. And I said, "What work?" And he said, "We have to find jobs since the boss went boom." Well he didn't say boom but I think it sounds better. So then we went on the boat to Costa Del Sol. And then we met this man who was selling stuff. And I was just like, "Why are you selling this jank?" And he said, "I'm just trying to make a living, yo." And then he told me about his cousin's baby's daddy's mamma's uncle who owned this island off the coast of Kansas and how they grow pocky boxes there and have Explosive Egg Hunts there. Oh and did you know that Sally had seashells by the seashore? Then somebody stole them.

Scarlet: What does that have to do with anything?

Cait Sith: *jumps* You're still here?

Scarlet: ¬_¬ I never left.

Cait Sith: You're not looking for eggs.

Scarlet: Sue me.

Cait Sith: Okay. *goes off to file a lawsuit*

Tifa: *watches Aeris explode from finding too many eggs* Teh Cloud Strife is on my wall! Teh Cloud Strife is on my wall!

Zack: He's not on mine.

Everyone: *whisper, whisper*

Zack: ¬_¬ You guys suck. *goes off to another part of the island.*

Yuffie: Wait! I have a question! *runs up to Zack*

Zack: What?

Yuffie: If tuna could fly what would it say?

Zack: Fushifuru.

Yuffie: Thank you! Got anymore?

Zack: Anymore what?

Yuffie: Rice?

Zack: No, sorry.

Yuffie: Okay. *runs off*

Cloud: You should stop pestering people with stupid questions Yuffie.

Sephiroth: You should too puppet.

Cloud: *glare* Who asked you?

Sephiroth: What are you going to do about it? What? Got rice bitch? Got rice?

Cloud: No, but I have food, soup, and spice.

Sephiroth: Well that's good too.

Cloud: Yeah. *throws an egg at Sephiroth and watches as it explodes*

Sephiroth: And you wonder why I burned down Nibelheim. I'll give you a ten second head start.

Cloud: Thanks. *starts running*

Sephiroth: *waits ten seconds and runs after Cloud with the Masamune*

Tifa: *watches and shrugs*

Cid: You're a #%!^$% lunatic!

Barret: Just because I've always wanted to see the Little Mermaid?

Cid: No, because you've never seen it.

Barret: Oh, have you seen the end to Beauty and the Beast?

Cid: Yeah, but I saw it in Spanish.

Barret: Oh.

Red XIII: Did you understand what was going on?

Cid: No but Shera did. I don't know Spanish.

Red XIII: He who knows he knows nothing understands everything.

Cid: Is that so? Then he who knows my right cheek is numb knows my right cheek is numb.

Red XIII: That's self explanatory.

Yuffie: *runs around throwing explosive eggs at people* Ph34r t3h cute ones! Ph34r t3h cute ones!

Sephiroth: *stops chasing Cloud* j00 5p33k l337?

Yuffie: j4, j0 5p33k l337!

Cloud: *realizes he's not being chased anymore* Whew, close one!

Random Person: What's in your wallet?

Cloud: Mine?

Random Person: Yes, you.

Cloud: Why do you want to know?

Random Person: I just do can you tell me?

Cloud: No.

Random Person: Please?

Cloud: Fine. Nothing.

Random Person: Nothing?

Cloud: Yes, nothing.

Random Person: Oh okay, thank you. *walks away*

Random Person #2: Will you take the blue pill or the red pill?

Cloud: Um, I don't do drugs.

Random Person #2: What if I threw in this complimentary purple pill.

Cloud: Well, I guess I can take that.

Random Person #2: Are you sure? I am not responsible for the things that may occur after you take this pill.

Cloud: Um, okay....

Random Person #2: Here you are. *hands Cloud the purple pill and disappears*

Cloud: Uh...*blinks* whatever...*takes the purple pill*

Cait Sith: Yo mamma!

Sephiroth: What?! *draws out Masamune*

Cait Sith: The egg exploded...*points at nonexistent egg*

Sephiroth: *narrows eyes* You'll survive this one cat. If you say it again, you're dead.

Scarlet: *walks by*

Sephiroth: *points at Scarlet* Ha ha! You're fat! 

Scarlet: You're fat!

The End.


End file.
